I was thinking about these in the last week and through experiences, what I am labeling myself and the impact of identity so wanted to share. How I define myself for me has impact on my behaviour
Last week I had an ADHD diagnosis…. that I did not have it. Now I want to be sensitive here, as I know people have all different cases going on, yet the rise of people claiming they are ADHD has gone up dramatically and there are lots of cases where it is true for people whereas others they have just been distracted by devices.
When a couple of people suggested I might have it, I started looking it up and the symptoms and related to them. I then actually found myself acting in certain ways as I thought I had ADHD. I would distract myself more and feel out of control more than before. I realised I had attached a slightly different identity in my head of myself.
I’ve done this in other areas of life I realised both positively and negatively…
Positively: I identify as a strong podcaster, someone who has strong social skills and fit and healthy. Therefore the majority of the time I act in accordance with these, making content, getting on with people and exercising.
Negatively: I’ve also identified as a stressed person a lot. Therefore when even minor problems come in I’ve found a rising level of stress come to be naturally. Still working on this. Many other examples too. I can also have a short temper as I identify as an angry person at times.
One key I learned is the power of an identity statement and the beautiful thing…. I can shape it to whatever I want. I will say I am and then powerful statements I like to believe about myself.
I do this whilst rebounding on a rebounder to create energy and so it’s not done passively without emotion. Some of the words I’ve used like ‘courageous’ then become almost habitual. The key has been to feel the emotions and identity when saying the words.
When saying the words ‘I am’ be very careful to what follows. Saying ‘I am angry’ is completely different from saying ‘I am experiencing the emotion of anger.’ I’ve learned I’ve had a choice of what I put after I am and that allows me to create a powerful identity. If you are challenged my a less empowering emotion, I’ve found not labeling myself as it but saying I am just feeling it has made a radical difference. The empowering emotions of course I like to identify with them like joy and love.
I believe you can choose your identity too, and what drives a human being more than anything to act in certain ways is their identity. Choose wisely.
Jonny Pardoe
© The Self Esteem and Confidence Mindset Ltd 2024
