What is ‘Through Me’?
I like to teach as I learn, I feel that really embeds learning into deeper levels. I’m not a fan of pure theory just sharing ideas and not implementing them, and at the same time I don’t believe any of us need to be perfect, we’re all a work in progress.
Today I wanted to share the different levels of flow and way of approaching life I’ve learned from one of my teachers Peter Sage.
These three levels are the following:
- To Me
- By Me
- Through Me
I will go through what all of these are and how I feel I’ve implemented them in my life. These are a condensed version that Peter talks about pulling from David Hawkin’s map of consciousness. The map of consciousness is a map that shows different stages of vibration and energy from the lowest that is shame rising up to the very top which is enlightenment.
It’s important to note with the three levels I am going to share from Peter that you can be at a different level in one area of life from another. For example you could be in a By Me level in your finances and in a Through Me level in your relationships.
There is also another higher level called As Me – if you’d like to look into that though I’d suggest looking more in Peter’s work.
To Me
This is the level of being victim. Whereby people don’t take responsibility for their life and others are always to blame. Now to be very, very clear. Some horrific things can happen to people in life which is not necessarily their fault. This level is talking about a lack of general responsibility for their own life.
For example someone might say
‘I can’t find a partner, because my ex cheated on me and things always go against me in the area of romantic relationships so no point going out there’
‘I got sacked from my job so therefore it’s unfair that I have a lack of money and some people get more luck in their careers’
These are examples of the To Me mentality. Sadly a lot of us are conditioned to feel in this way due to the ways the media creates fear and scarcity and people often seeking significance and approval, definitely something I’ve had to work through and can catch myself a little bit in this and snap out of it.
In my life I found myself in the past blaming other people for not giving me a job, ‘I have a degree and lots of education and should have a job, it’s really unfair for me not getting a job’ until I realised ‘No Jonny it’s up to you to build up your skills and experience and grow’. It’s not about not feeling upset or frustrated, I always believe in feeling emotions. It’s about just not living there.
By Me
This is better than To Me, this takes responsibility. This is where 90% of personal growth falls. ‘It’s time to take back my power’…. Ok this may sound a lot more empowering than To Me (and it is) the only problem is that it can be utterly exhausting and known as the hustle mentality if not channeled healthily. If not careful it can move someone into exhaustion. It’s often fighting and resisting instead of seeing there is a more flow filled way or approach.
For example:
Someone making 100+ sales calls a day to make thousands of pounds when they hate that route – when there is another smarter approach (of course many influencers promote this way, yet often they have a flow system and type of energy on this they don’t tell you about).
Someone putting a lot of effort into getting someone to like them, when the person just doesn’t feel the same way and there is another option
In my life I’ve done this with work many times – working more hours to impress in the workplace, not necessarily offering value though, until I found a smarter approach.
Through Me
This is not doing, nothing rather working and putting in the work, it can feel a little more effortless though. This requires tuning into intuition and then taking what action feels right. Not what the mind thinks is the best route and trying to control. Through Me is about letting go of the illusion of control. This has been very hard for me and definitely a work in progress! There is NO control other than what we can do in our own actions.
For Example:
Instead of making hundreds of calls for sales, sitting down with time to reflect and then without forcing it allows you to see a solution to take action on such as calling someone with a business opportunity or going to a certain network event. A ‘lightbulb moment.
Someone works hard in the gym and finds it exhausting and knows they need to exercise. Then suddenly an idea to get a friend and join some enjoyable fitness classes / sports comes up.
I’ve done this with podcasting, hitting millions of downloads just focusing on adding values and aligning what feels right and required from people letting go of the outcome.
Conclusion
It is not about progressing from one to the other. Yet for me it’s about understanding where I am currently operating generally in my life and in areas of my life. I can also take the Through Me instances in my life and transfer to others where maybe I am acting more in By Me.
Making sure I find time to work on my inner world (meditation, breathwork, exercise etc) allows me to get into better operating states as well.
By Jonny Pardoe,
©The Self Esteem and Confidence Mindset Ltd 2024
