We are always competing with one another. We are always looking at how we can have an advantage over someone else. There is an ever-growing competitive world where we compare how many followers we have, how many sales we make, and how popular our profiles are.
“So how do I get better?” may be a question you are asking yourself. Let’s explore this. I’m going to explore why we are like this and then how we can start to FEEL better in ourselves.
So I was chatting to someone the other day, and his questions like many others were
‘So you selling lots of books? You got lots of business in coaching?’
Two things came from me from that 1. My competitiveness to get to the top 2. The general way society is.
I wasn’t generalising on one person as I’ve heard that asked before and see it all the time. You can’t help but see ads on social media ‘grow your audience by 10,000 subscribers’ etc. People are basing success on numbers and competition rather than how we feel. A great question to ask someone would be on the lines of:
“Are you enjoying doing that?’
“What do you love about that?”
So because we see competition everywhere, naturally, we feel like we have to step up our game for many of us. There are, of course, those who can feel content with where they are. This competition poses a real struggle against self-esteem, however.
So how do we overcome this? Here is my advice for what has worked for me
Write down what you’ve achieved
These don’t have to be massive things; they can be basic. Write down ten things you are proud of achieving, feel those things, acknowledge those things, and be satisfied. An achievement list allows you to see how awesome you are. Do this every single day.
Plan where you want to go
Having a vision of where you want to go is essential. Without purpose and direction, it isn’t easy to understand what to do in life. Running on autopilot mode, not knowing what we want exactly, can be the result of this. Make sure you know what you want and real why though, not just for the money and fame but a real sense of enjoyment and value.
Habits you can do right now
This leads to the last one. You don’t need to wait for an outcome you can be that person you want to be right now. The biggest struggles in my life have been where I’ve been miserable and wanting to be at a future point. Instead, I found focusing on what I love doing now has been way more effective. To be the person you want to be, you have to be that person now. When I realised I could speak and write every day now, things shifted for me enormously. Focusing on what I can do or be now also put me in enormous control. I can completely control the person I am; I can’t control the outcome.
Conclusion
We are always exposed to competition; therefore our brains can’t help but want us to be better and to compete. Instead of focusing on outcomes, numbers, and results focus on your enjoyment and the value you are giving. Be the person you want to be right now.
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Jonny Pardoe © July 2020
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