I’ve left this until 8pm tonight. Crazy! I usually nail my blog in the morning but today I’m going with the flow a bit, although admittedly I probably haven’t had the best focus today. Anyway, what has that got to do with insecurities. Recently I’ve felt so structured that I had no room for flow as I was worried I won’t achieve anything if I don’t have structure. So, I’m trying to do things by the moment. Today I am going to share how we begin to reduce insecurities and start feeling amazing about ourselves.
Everyone in the world has insecurities or would have had them. This is ok, this is perfectly natural. Our brain is surrounded with stimulus and triggers all around us to try and fit in. The thing is to acknowledge them and work through them.
I used to be really socially insecure and have to drink loads on social occasions. Admittedly even after getting more socially comfortable I still probably drank too much. I feel so socially confident now though to just go out and speak to people. I love meeting new people and speaking to them. The starting point for this was when I started to try and love myself more, understanding my worries and take action.
So here are a few tips:
1. Love yourself first of all
Insecurity is a certain fear. Often a fear about us. I’ve learnt this is about loving myself more. Learning to love who I am. It’s important for you to do the same.
Find time you find those old beliefs replace them with loving ones. Repeat constantly. Even if you don’t feel the sayings are going in, persist. You are reprogramming your unconscious with new beliefs and will soon start to notice the difference.
2.Analyse your beliefs where are they coming from
Understanding what has made that belief in the first place is essential to work through it. Negative beliefs are formed early on in life but understanding what caused it will help you to fix it. Then challenge them what is the evidence they are true.
For example I developed an early belief ‘I was not good enough’ there was no evidence for this. It was formed from a few bad scores in school, girls not liking me earlier on in school and my friends finding other friends. These beliefs do not mean I am not good enough. You don’t even have to have gone through something extremely traumatic to gain negative beliefs, it can just be one moment that embeds it in the unconscious.
I’ll give another example, I’ve had someone tell me about being cheated on. They suffer very low self esteem and have a belief ‘ they can’t be loved’, because an insecure person cheated on them. Oh, and by the way a person who cheats on another person is insecure. No arguments.
So really understand what these negative beliefs, ask how false they actually are, find the evidence they are not and then think of new beliefs and repeat these new beliefs over and over.
3. Take action and plan overcoming fear
You don’t have to do something massive but just live on the edge of the comfort zone. Do something small and plan small actions to overcome your insecurities. If you are scared of talking in front of people, just start off by saying hello to someone. Then build up from there. When we take courageous actions, we gain confidence and start to feel better. These acts will vary from person to person. This will present evidence against the insecurities.
I for example used to be really worried about what people think, I still am a little bit but a lot less. The other day I decided to lie on the ground in the middle of the village, people were walking past wondering what I was doing but this courageous small act made me feel a lot better and realise it’s not actually that bad.
Conclusion
We all have insecurities some time or another. Even the most appearing courageous and charismatic people out there. It’s about being with those insecurities, understanding them and then applying actions to overcome them. Do not run away from them. If you don’t have them nothing will change.
Keep being that amazing person you are!
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Jonny Pardoe © June 2020
http://example.com
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