‘Why am I getting up this early?’ This was the first question that I asked myself this morning when rising from my bed. On reflection, this was quite a negatively formed question, as the answer could have led to: ‘I’m not sure, maybe let’s nod off again,’.
The question could have been:
‘What can I do first of all, to make sure that I’m as productive as possible, now that I’m up early?’, to which the answer may have been something like ‘Meditation’ or ‘Grab a healthy breakfast’.
You see, the way we form our questions, is the same way in which we form our answers; as a result, such answers give us a direction in life and so, it all starts with the questions. In today’s blog, I talk about why questions are important, why they can help us understand ourselves, why they give us positive or negative direction, and how they can be put into practice.
Why we need to ask more questions
Our questions are the beginning as they give us the answers. Have you ever found yourself in such an auto- pilot mode that you just go through the motions on a daily basis, without any real thought? Yet when you actually did something, you realised that the end result was not actually the most productive thing you could have achieved? Or, in fact, was it quite a waste of time.
I’ve been in that situation and I know so many other people who have too. It’s so easy to do this though, when we lead such busy lives, but if we stop for a moment to ask why we do things, this forms new ideas in our heads and leads to new actions. Asking new questions can lead to creative, innovative new ideas. Examples include:
‘What if we tried this today?’ or ‘Why are we doing this again?’. These kinds of questions can bring about the significant changes that we may want to see in our lives. Of course, no change will happen without action, but it begins with the question.
There are different types of questions, however. Firstly, there are the questions we ask ourselves and then secondly the questions we ask others. The questions we ask ourselves can change our direction and our quality of life. The questions we ask others can not only have an impact in a group dynamic but also cause a significant change in an individual’s life, following on from a simple question they may not have asked themselves.
Why questions help us understand ourselves better
Questions can help us understand ourselves more, as when we analyse ourselves asking the question, we will then get our answer.
Alternatively, we may ask ourselves why we want to work towards a particular goal. Asking ourselves what we really want, may be a difficult question to answer at first, but once the brain has asked that question it will really search hard for the answer.
Why questions can lead to a more positive or negative approach to life
The types of questions asked can either be positive or negative. The way the question is asked, will have an impact on the answer. For example, if something bad or even life- changing happens to an individual, they may ask themselves ‘Why has this happened to me? Why is life so cruel?’ or ‘Ok, this is a big setback in life, but how can I move on and make the most out of life?’.
These are two very different questions. Can you guess which one is more likely to provide a more positive answer or quality of life? There are people in the world who have suffered real tragedy but yet manage to continue in a positive frame of mind; of course, it will take them some time to recover, but what helps them move on, are the positive questions which they ask.
On the other hand, we all know of negative people. Can you think of the type of questions that they may frequently ask? Examples would be:
‘What’s the point?’ or ‘Why am I stuck working here?’. These types of questions will only come up with negative answers.
How other questions can be put into practice
So, like anything, good use of positive questions takes some practice. There are several tips which I have outlined below:
Ask yourself why you are doing something on a daily basis:
Go through your day and consider carefully the purpose of your actions and why you are doing them; you may be more surprised than you think about some of the answers.
Ask people questions on a regular basis:
Remember the little child who always asks ‘Why, why, why?’… well, as an adult, it’s good to do that more often. but not to a point where you are damaging relationships or thoroughly annoying people; but to just ask questions of people in an appropriate manner, can really bring you and them clarity. Practise not just reacting to a life led in the fast lane but find time to ask the odd question in order to slow things down and to understand what is going on.
Ask yourself questions when writing your daily goals:
If you don’t write down your goals or tasks for the day, then I would suggest starting this, as it provides clarity for your day. When you write down your plans for the day, though, ask yourself why you want to achieve these things, then write that down too, for added clarity.
Ask yourself questions when reviewing your week:
It’s good practice to review your week at the end of the week. This can be in the form of a journal or by just reviewing the week’s events with a friend, or perhaps you could even record a voice journal. Whatever format you choose, it’s always good to ask yourself what went well and why? Also, ask yourself what could have been better and how you can improve in the future?
In summary
Questions help us and others to provide more clarity in our lives. Such questions can be asked to ourselves and to others. Questions are particularly useful in enabling us to understand ourselves and our daily lives better and to help us understand what we really want in life. The quality of our questions also determines our direction in life; positive questions will lead to a positive answer whilst negative questions will lead to a negative answer. We can add questioning into our everyday lives and try to ask questions constantly.
Jonny Pardoe
Jonny Pardoe © June 2019
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Jonny Pardoe
